I am sitting here in my comfortable pajamas with a glass of Dr. Pepper beside me. Here goes. A homeschooled hobbit is back!!
Ok. First off. Since I am no longer...homeschooled...or at least...in school: I need a new name for the blog! So...any ideas?? Because this girl is scatter brained to say the least. Shoot me a message if you have any ideas! I'd love to hear them. May even start a new poll...hmmm...
Alright now on to the important stuff. I am so sorry I have been absent for so long. The last post I did was during a really rough day for me. I feel like I owe ya'll a bit of an explanation...especially since you have been here by my side for 2 years now. A little more than that actually....
I dated a guy...and things didn't work out. I really thought I could say more on the subject...but I guess I'm still not ready. But let's just say it was an amazing experience while it lasted, and its end has deeply affected me. The good news though. We are still friends. And we probably will be for a good, long while. Even though it didn't work out, I am thankful for this friendship.
I have moved home. Coming back to North Georgia has been...interesting. The change in climate, relationships, churches, homes, jobs...everything...has been a bit hectic. I am just a tad bit exhausted. Sleeping and eating has been very difficult to stick with. Last night Bilbo, our dog, was up until 3 am crying...and then back at it around 6. Thankfully Mom let me go back to sleep. I slept off and on before finally getting up around 1.
Good news: I got a job at Subway down the street. If I walk, it is only 2.5 hours of walking, if my parents can give me a ride, it takes 12 minutes. So pray I get a car soon. They really need a bus stop closer to my house!
Right now there is a lot of uncertainty in my life. I don't know how long I am going to be in this home, what job I am going to have permanently, if I am going to have enough money to keep myself afloat? But isn't every day like that? How long am I going to be alive? How long until I get married? How long until these flashbacks leave? How long until I overcome this? How long?
Honestly all of those questions tend to make me either stressed....or fearful. You have two choices. One...you can just get depressed, curl into a little ball, and give up.... Or two! You can fight! Face your fear! Challenge it! Cry out to your Father...the one who will never leave you. Whatever you are facing...be it health, finances, family, grief, pain, abuse...the list goes on...give it to Him. The one who holds you in His heavenly arms. Cry out to Him. He is the only one who can satisfy those longing desires of your heart.
"A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a short cut to meet it..." J.R.R. Tolkien The Children of Hurin.
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me..." Psalm 23:4
"...for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control." 2 Timothy 1:7
Whatever your fear is...whatever you are facing right now...you don't have to do it on your own. He is here. With you right now. He doesn't care what you've done. He only cares about you....and what His promise is for you if you will only choose to follow Him. To believe. He gave all...so that you may live. John 3:16
Sometimes it gets hard. Even for a Christian. What I fear the most...are flashbacks. And nightmares. There are some things from my past that I really struggle with. But when they play through my head...when I relive them...sometimes I just really wish it would end. But there is hope. It won't always be like this. What happened in my past...what I struggle with...it wasn't my fault. No matter how much you...or others blame yourself...the truth is what matters. That is what I am fighting for. That is why I am still here.
The truth
Pure...blatant honesty.
Ok. First off. Since I am no longer...homeschooled...or at least...in school: I need a new name for the blog! So...any ideas?? Because this girl is scatter brained to say the least. Shoot me a message if you have any ideas! I'd love to hear them. May even start a new poll...hmmm...
Alright now on to the important stuff. I am so sorry I have been absent for so long. The last post I did was during a really rough day for me. I feel like I owe ya'll a bit of an explanation...especially since you have been here by my side for 2 years now. A little more than that actually....
I dated a guy...and things didn't work out. I really thought I could say more on the subject...but I guess I'm still not ready. But let's just say it was an amazing experience while it lasted, and its end has deeply affected me. The good news though. We are still friends. And we probably will be for a good, long while. Even though it didn't work out, I am thankful for this friendship.
I have moved home. Coming back to North Georgia has been...interesting. The change in climate, relationships, churches, homes, jobs...everything...has been a bit hectic. I am just a tad bit exhausted. Sleeping and eating has been very difficult to stick with. Last night Bilbo, our dog, was up until 3 am crying...and then back at it around 6. Thankfully Mom let me go back to sleep. I slept off and on before finally getting up around 1.
Good news: I got a job at Subway down the street. If I walk, it is only 2.5 hours of walking, if my parents can give me a ride, it takes 12 minutes. So pray I get a car soon. They really need a bus stop closer to my house!
Right now there is a lot of uncertainty in my life. I don't know how long I am going to be in this home, what job I am going to have permanently, if I am going to have enough money to keep myself afloat? But isn't every day like that? How long am I going to be alive? How long until I get married? How long until these flashbacks leave? How long until I overcome this? How long?
Honestly all of those questions tend to make me either stressed....or fearful. You have two choices. One...you can just get depressed, curl into a little ball, and give up.... Or two! You can fight! Face your fear! Challenge it! Cry out to your Father...the one who will never leave you. Whatever you are facing...be it health, finances, family, grief, pain, abuse...the list goes on...give it to Him. The one who holds you in His heavenly arms. Cry out to Him. He is the only one who can satisfy those longing desires of your heart.
"A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a short cut to meet it..." J.R.R. Tolkien The Children of Hurin.
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me..." Psalm 23:4
"...for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control." 2 Timothy 1:7
Whatever your fear is...whatever you are facing right now...you don't have to do it on your own. He is here. With you right now. He doesn't care what you've done. He only cares about you....and what His promise is for you if you will only choose to follow Him. To believe. He gave all...so that you may live. John 3:16
Sometimes it gets hard. Even for a Christian. What I fear the most...are flashbacks. And nightmares. There are some things from my past that I really struggle with. But when they play through my head...when I relive them...sometimes I just really wish it would end. But there is hope. It won't always be like this. What happened in my past...what I struggle with...it wasn't my fault. No matter how much you...or others blame yourself...the truth is what matters. That is what I am fighting for. That is why I am still here.
The truth
Pure...blatant honesty.
